Do you speak Care

See me, like me, find me delicious

Remember it’s dark roast (with cream)

Pre-order the newest book from my favorite author

Ask how the migraines have been and then 
listen with spaciousness

Wait to watch the next episode with me
Make a plan to watch the next episode with me

Read my poetry and
tell me which phrase held your hand

When i hurt, say, What do you need 
Do not say, You should

Ask me what i know
and want to learn

Unlearn -ism and -archy and supremacies with me

Let your political also be:
a lasagna when i’m sick
dismantling (inside and out) the domination of children* 
not calling the HOA to fine your neighbor’s dandelions

Please tell me of all your dandelions (i have a tenderness for weeds)

Ask me the names of my houseplants and how long we’ve been together

Ask me a follow-up question 
Ask a question that needs its answer lived

Acknowledge complexity
Tell me something simple (sometimes i need a tangle rescue)

Play with banter (never mean) 
and punny jokes
Yes, And my thoughts

*Cherish my want
my stop and my done

Trust me and be interested in my process 
Experience rather than judge me

Co-create our relationship 
Delight in nourishing it

When you say, i’ll do the dishes, do the dishes or communicate a need to reassess tasks 
Let’s collaborate on life with our own creative math for practical care + cozy hearts

Tell me about your insides
Let me love you
But don’t chew off pieces of me and say it is love

Eat the cookies i baked with your pleasure, your taste buds (not your moralized fear of fat)

And also, you can not eat the cookies and cry about how
-ism -archy diet culture ruins everything if you need to
or tell me that gluten hurts your tummy
(really i just want to know you)

Bring me seeds from your wildflower experiments

Text a meme about therapy, about the Sleepytime episode of the kid’s show Bluey, about people who talk to plants

Send an Instagram account that is all sweet paintings of anthropomorphized forest animals drinking tea in their burrows next to a Christmas tree

Remember my birthday
and send presents

Or don’t
Say no
Or not today
And let’s puzzle out, curious to
how we can both be Here 
(Love) now

Reflection Invitations:

(or just stop at the poem's end. It is often more than enough to just feel.)

-What are the details of your Care (love) language? If this is a challenge to access, here are a few suggestions:

• Which of the above details of love resonate or are the opposite for you?

• Picture the scene of the last time you interacted with the person you feel closest to. What did they do (or not do!) that helps you feel seen, cared for, relaxed, present? Repeat with other humans you feel good connecting with.

• We often give what we want to receive. How do you usually show care for others?

• What actions make you feel unloved or unseen? List the opposites and see what resonates.

-What makes your dear ones feel loved? Do you know in detail?

-What would it feel like to have a conversation about the mutual details of love with the humans you want to grow a Together With?

-In your mind, fast forward 5 years past that conversation. What does life look like when you and your people are fluent in Care?

If support around naming and growing your language of Care would feel helpful, I’d love to journey with you in a 1-1 session.